Friday Night Joke

An E mail from a friend.

" The Divorce Letter:
>>
>> Dear Wife:
>>
>> I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
>> I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show
>> for it.
>>
>> These last two weeks have been hell.
>>
>> Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the
>> last straw.
>> Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new
>> haircut,had
>> cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
>>
>> You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of
>> your soaps.
>>
>> You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything
>> that
>> connects us as husband and wife.
>>
>> Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the
>> case, I'm gone.
>>
>> Your EX-Husband
>>
>> P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West
>> Virginia together! Have a great life!
>>
>> _______________________________________________________________
>>
>> Dear Ex-Husband -
>>
>> Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
>>
>> It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a
>> good
>> man is a far cry from what you've been.
>>
>> I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and
>> griping.
>>
>> Too bad that doesn't work.
>>
>> I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that
>> came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!'
>>
>> Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something
>> nice, I didn't comment.
>> And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused
>> with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
>>
>> About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99
>> price
>> tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my
>> sister
>> had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning.
>>
>> After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.
>>
>> So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought
>> us
>> two tickets to Jamaica.
>>
>> But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I
>> guess.
>> I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.
>> My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime
>> from me.
>>
>> So take care.
>>
>> Signed,
>>
>> Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
>>
>> P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born
>> Carl. I hope that's not a problem.