Reminds Me Of My Daughter

From Patrick McIlheran

"It's the thought that counts, not the flavor
By Patrick McIlheran
Monday, Oct 13 2008, 05:34 PM
Neenah, as have some other school districts, has banned children from bringing sweets on their birthdays.

Not healthy, you know.

"In a classroom, it must be healthy," Steve Dreger, director of curriculum and instructional technology, told the press. "We are prohibiting anything that does not meet the wellness policy's nutritional standards."

Which at least one parent thinks is so nuts, it's worth calling out the district publicly: Banning cupcakes or cookies or little candies "does not teach our children how to balance their diet or eat in moderation," said Vicki Denzin, a Neenah mother. "Dietitians don't teach morbidly obese patients or severe diabetic people to completely ban sweets. Rather, they teach moderation, portion control and calorie count."

Besides, isn't the point of birthday treats to be, well, a treat? The district apparently prefers fruit or vegetables or yogurt or, maybe, string cheese as birthday treats -- just the sort of things to make the day special, even though, of course, the kids have exactly those things in their lunchboxes daily.

"It's not the act of bringing in a sugary cupcake (that is important)," principal Diane Galow of Tullar Elementary School said. "It's the ability to share that treat and be recognized that it's their birthday or special day."

Mm-hm. Let's look:

First-grader No. 1: "It's my birthday."

First-grader No. 2: "Happy birthday."

First-grader No. 1: "My mom said I couldn't bring cookies. Here's a carrot stick."

First-grader No. 2: "I appreciate your concern for my health. I'm repulsed by the bitter aftertaste that supersedes the initial sweetness and, just last night, my parents made me sit at the table until 8:17 before they relented and let me go to bed without touching the carrots, but, still, I appreciate the thought. Let's feed it to the classroom's pet guinea pig."

First-grader No. 1: "OK."" Patrick McIlheran: Right On

I remember 23 years ago, I sat at the table from 5:00 pm till 9:30PM. I told my daughter the two of us would not leave the table till she ate her supper.

I broke down at 9:30 and sent her to bed. Children don't like carrots!
She's still daddies little girl.