Joke of the day from my brother, thanks John
IDIOT SIGHTING
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our
problems was that we did not have a 'large'
enough motor on the opener. I thought for a
minute and said that we had the largest one
Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need
a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was
larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not. Four is
larger than two.'
We haven't used Sears repair since.
IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window, and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'You gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes, I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said, 'We're sorry, but we cannot do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
IDIOT SIGHTING :
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had
a new neighbor call the local township administrative
office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING
sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are
being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a
good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
From Kingman , KS
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE :
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered
a taco. She asked the person behind the counter
for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but
they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas City
IDIOT! SIGHTING :
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate
when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone
put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham, AL
IDIOT SIGHTING :
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe
to cross the street. I was crossing with an
intellectually challenged coworker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when
the light is red. Appalled, she responded,
'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS
IDIOT SIGHTING :
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear
coworker (She was leaving the company due
to 'downsizing') our manager commented
cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this
more often.' Not another word was spoken.
We all just looked at each other with that deer-
in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments .
IDIOT SIGHTING :
I work with an individual who plugged her
power strip back into itself, and for the sake
of her life couldn't understand why her system
would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office ,
no less.
IDIOT SIGHTING :
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile
dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys
had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working
feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As
I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively
tried the door handle and discovered that it was
unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician,
'it's open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS
STAY ALERT!
They walk among us... they REPRODUCE, and
scariest of all.. they VOTE!!
IDIOT SIGHTING
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our
problems was that we did not have a 'large'
enough motor on the opener. I thought for a
minute and said that we had the largest one
Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need
a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was
larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not. Four is
larger than two.'
We haven't used Sears repair since.
IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window, and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'You gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes, I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said, 'We're sorry, but we cannot do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
IDIOT SIGHTING :
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had
a new neighbor call the local township administrative
office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING
sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are
being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a
good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
From Kingman , KS
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE :
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered
a taco. She asked the person behind the counter
for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but
they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas City
IDIOT! SIGHTING :
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate
when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone
put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham, AL
IDIOT SIGHTING :
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe
to cross the street. I was crossing with an
intellectually challenged coworker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when
the light is red. Appalled, she responded,
'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS
IDIOT SIGHTING :
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear
coworker (She was leaving the company due
to 'downsizing') our manager commented
cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this
more often.' Not another word was spoken.
We all just looked at each other with that deer-
in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments .
IDIOT SIGHTING :
I work with an individual who plugged her
power strip back into itself, and for the sake
of her life couldn't understand why her system
would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office ,
no less.
IDIOT SIGHTING :
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile
dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys
had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working
feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As
I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively
tried the door handle and discovered that it was
unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician,
'it's open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS
STAY ALERT!
They walk among us... they REPRODUCE, and
scariest of all.. they VOTE!!
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