Tech Support On An Average Day

This  ought to make you feel better about  your computer  skills!  

  Tech  support:      What  kind of computer do you have?  

  Customer:     A  white  one...  

  Tech  support:       Click  on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of  the screen.     

  Customer:      Your left or my left?     

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  Customer:     Hi, good afternoon, this is  Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't  find  printer'.  I've even lifted the printer  and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer  still says he can't find it..     

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  Tech  support:     What's on your monitor now,  ma'am?  

  Customer:     A teddy bear my boyfriend bought  for me at the 7-11.     

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  Customer:     My keyboard  is not working anymore.     

  Tech  support:     Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?     

  Customer:     No. I can't  get behind the computer.     

  Tech   support:     Pick up your keyboard and walk 10  paces back.     

  Customer:  !   OK     

  Tech  support:     Did the  keyboard come with you?     

  Customer:    Yes  

  Tech  support:     That means the keyboard  is not plugged in.     

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  Customer:     I can't get on the Internet.     

  Tech   support:     Are you sure you used the right  password? 

  Customer:     Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.     

  Tech  support:     Can you tell me what  the password  was?  

  Customer:     Five dots.     

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  Tech  support:     What  anti-virus program do  you use?  

  Customer:     Netscape.     

  Tech  support:     That's not an anti-virus program.     

  Customer:     Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer..     

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  Customer:      I have a huge problem. A  friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every  time I move the mouse, it disappears.     

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  Tech  support:     How may I help you?     

  Customer:     I'm writing my first email.     

  Tech  support:     OK, and what seems to be the  problem?  

  Customer:     Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I  get the little circle around it?   

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This one and the next are our personal favorites!    

  A woman  customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with  her printer.     

  Tech  support:     Are you running it under windows?     

  Customer:     'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good  point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under  a window,  and his printer is working fine.'     

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  And last but not  least!     

  Tech  support:  'Okay  Bob, let's  press the control and escape keys at the  same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the  screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the  Program  Manager.'     

  Customer:    I don't  have a P.     

  Tech  support:     On your keyboard, Bob.     

  Customer:     What do you mean?     

  Tech  support:     'P'.....on  your keyboard, Bob.     

  Customer:     I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!